Filed under: Laptop, Life | Tags: 1984, boots, Google, new, rationalizations, socks
My Problem with Productivity
I have a problem. I love new stuff, new apps, new add-ons for Firefox, new styles, new phones, new laptops, and new socks.
And, I like to disguise my love of new things as a way to increase my “productivity.” I see so many people doing this, especially me. They buy the latest gadget to simplify their life (e.g. PDA, cell phone, remote control garage door opener, the Clapper), and that same gadget actually multiplies the number of hours they spend working on the task that should have gotten easier. (Scientific reports have proven that you spend more energy clapping for the lights to come on than it would take to just get out of bed and walk to the switch. No, really. Okay, I dont’ know that, but seriously…does the Clapper really work? It it does, why doesn’t everyone have one?)
Rationalizations…
“If I just had a new Tilt phone, I wouldn’t spend as much time at home reading emails. I’d be able to spend so much more time with my family!”
“The reason I don’t run in the mornings is because I have very old shoes that won’t support my feet. I need new running shoes to get back into shape!”
“If I had a smaller laptop, I would be much more organized. I wouldn’t have to lug around a heavy bag, and I could pull it out to write in simple notes so I wouldn’t forget things. I need an Asus!”
Technology Axioms
- If the “new” thing doesn’t help you spend more time doing the things you love to do, then it isn’t a productivity tool.
- If you spend more time trying to figure out how to make your productivity tool more productive than doing actual work, then it isn’t a productivity tool.
- Productivity tools are designed so you can get more done in less time. If you find yourself using all your extra time doing more, then your productivity tools aren’t working.
Making Boots
What I’m trying to learn is how to filter out the “productivity tools” that actually take more time from my already busy schedule. What really works? What really doesn’t work? What would make my life harder, if I didn’t use them? What do I need to stop using?
In the book 1984, part of the way the government controls the economy is to keep them producing boots, bullets, tanks, and all supplies, but there are never enough boots, bullets, tanks, and supplies. The people are feel “productive” because they keep making so many of these things. In fact, the government celebrates the number of boots and tanks produced! But, there’s never enough. There never will be.
I think that’s the way so many of us live. We keep producing boots, but we never fill the quota. And our speed and skill at producing boots doesn’t affect how hard and long we work at it. We just keep producing boots. And we live with this false sense of what “productivity” is.
Productivity shouldn’t enslave us; it should free us.
I read something a few days ago in Marcus Buckingham’s book The One Thing that really struck me. He said in his research on marriages, the one factor that made for a happy marriage is the perceptions a person holds of his or her spouse. In other words, if you want a happy marriage, work on your perception of your spouse, not your spouses weaknesses.
The relationships that found faults in one another, tried to help the other person “improve,” and tried to have a more truthful perception of one another, reported being less happy than the couples that always thought the best of each other.
The reason that strikes me as odd is because it seems to go against reason and modern marriage advice. Compatibility tests warn couples to make sure that they have similar interests in the 7 or 9 or 13 key areas before they marry. Counselors admonish couples to have a hobby and spend time together in that hobby. And all of these are fine, but the ONE THING that loving couples can do is to be Pollyanna.
So, as I thought about this, I thought of some ways to work on my perceptions and how to build them, which seems so crazy. Am I deluding myself? Tricking my own brain? Or, practicing blind love?
- tell my wife at least once a day that she is beautiful (not that she isn’t, but she is constantly worried about her weight and appearance and she compares herself to other women — and I don’t want to start doing that, so I want to protect my perception of her beauty)
- when we argue, remind myself that she is strong and independent (which I like)
- think of her as a saver of money and a generous giver
- compliment her in public for being a patient, caring wife and mother
The amazing thing about this practice of perceptions is that research reports that perceptions actual produce reality. As you think about your spouse in positive ways, he or she will become more like your perceptions. And the inverse is true — if your preceptions are negative, you will produce in your spouse the very qualities you don’t like.
This is a powerful truth. We have the power to encourage and build up our spouses. We have the choice to feed and nourish our marriage or to destroy it — with our thoughts and perceptions of one another.
One of my favorite lines from the movie The Renaissance Man perhaps sheds insight into our perceptions of love. Bill Rago (Danny Devito) is working on a military base as a teacher after being fired from his job in advertising. One day, he’s late for his class, and he’s making excuses for the traffic — “You ever notice when you’re running late, they radio-dispatch all slow drivers to stop traffic.” Or, something like that — my memory fails me right now for the exact wording.
But, that’s the way I feel. When I drive, I get very annoyed by other drivers, especially when I’m late. And here’s what I’m thinking the entire time: if they weren’t such slow drivers, I’d probably make it on time. See what I’m doing? Suddenly, I’ve relieved myself of guilt for being late, and now I can blame traffic or old people or tractors, or whatever is in my way. Not my lateness.
I think we treat our relationships the same way sometimes:
I wouldn’t get so angry if she wouldn’t…
Well, if he would just stop …, then I wouldn’t react that way.
I know I was a little..., but that’s because she was so….
We blame the traffic. And, most of the time, the traffic is inconsequential. It’s what happened before the traffic showed up. It was a lack of communication, a lack of kindness, an insensitive word, an expectation set too high.
Love deserves honesty, and I’m learning to be honest about my own faults first.
Love is work. I should probably end the post there, but I need to write this out for me so I’ll remember it and live it more consistently.
I’m coming up on my 10th Anniversary this August (thank you, thank you), and I’ve been trying to assess how well I’ve done loving my wife. Those vows are doozies, you know.
richer or poorer: 9 (Until my wife took over the finances, I wasn’t doing as well, but since then, I think things are much better)
sickness and health: 8 (I cleaned up vomit, but docked myself points for watching a movie on my laptop during the labor portion of my daughter’s birth. Technically, there was nothing I could do…but I wasn’t really helping the situation.)
better or worse: 8 (I could have loved better when we prayed for 2 years to have a child…those were some rough times, and I’d never had to love someone through something like that before.)
forsaking all others: 10 (okay, the death threats have helped…I kid, I kid)
That’s a final score of 45 out of 50 — 90%.
Okay, that’s how I would have assessed myself. But, the more I thought about it, the more I fought against this idea of ranking love on a scale. It seemed so…impersonal. Besides, the numbers and the rankings are arbitrary — made up just to confirm my own confidence in my performance (or confirm my own guilt, depending on my mood).
The real test of love is one thing: does the object of my affection feel loved? Do my kids feel loved? Does my wife feel loved? Because even though I intend my actions to send love their way, the message might not be interpreted the way I intend. The trick of love is that it has less to do with ME and more to do with HER/HIM. Love is always focused on the other.
And you get tested every day.
I thought more about yesterday’s post, I realized that there are several factors I’ve been considering on how to build gap into my work schedule. Because I’m employed by The Journey Church (and CCHS), then my employer should have some say in how many hours I work. And, as with most jobs, there are duties that exist outside those normal hours. However, I am the one ultimately responsible for my schedule. Here are the factors I consider as I’m thinking about how to create discipline in my schedule.
season of life and season of ministry
Earlier this year, Craig Groeschel wrote about this very idea on his blog, and it has stuck with me. Perhaps his post “Ministry Within the Seasons” was the impetus for this very journey to understanding discipline in my life? Who knows?
He points out that different seasons of ministry call for different work schedules, and I agree. I have two kids now. That changes how I create my work schedule, and it influences how much time I can give extra to the church and ministry. But, too, I have to try to balance the season of life with the fact that our church is only 3 years old. Leadership is in short supply right now, and I have to shoulder a lot more than I will in a few years (if I do my job well!).
talk
What I’m trying to do to find the right rhythm is stay in communication with my wife. This is key because when I don’t communicate to her what’s going on, and I’m gone to meetings and helping with events and working on ministry stuff, then she gets resentful. She doesn’t get to be part of my life and schedule because I leave her out. But when I let her know that a tough few weeks is ahead, and that after that I will be much more free, she can brace herself for that time. And, we can work together to find ways to spend time as a family, despite my busy schedule.
walk
I watch my kids closely and listen to them. About a month ago, Isaac (age 3) asked me, “Do you have to go to church tonight?” When I said, “No,” he perked up and asked, “Then can we play chase?” I’ve got to be aware that I explain, in terms they can understand, where and why I’m going. And, I need to make sure that I’m explaining my love (verbally and physically) to them as much as possible. My wife has also mentioned that during days where they don’t see much of me, they get very irritable and difficult to deal with. If that’s happening, I know I need to be careful how I plan my schedule.
chalk
Who can do what I’m doing? I’ve become much more aware of the things I spend my time doing, and I’ve started to look aggressively for people to do what I do. If I don’t replace myself, when I die, I’ll still be doing everything I’m doing right now! Teaching and training other people is now a part of my consideration of my schedule. Who can go with me, work with me, do this with me?
Brick by Brick
As Craig says in that blog post I mentioned above, balance is impossible to achieve. A healthy rhythm is the aim. I agree mostly with that, but I can easily use the “this season of ministry just requires more of me” excuse every week. I can always find more to do, more to read, more to improve, more to add to my schedule. But what is impossible to do is add mortar once you’ve stacked the bricks. And bricks without mortar don’t stick together. They fall…easily. But with mortar — which creates a gap — those bricks become a foundation that is solid and true.
I want my family and my ministry to be a wall, not a stack of bricks.
As I was praying this morning, something popped into my head that I hadn’t really given much thought before. I mean, I’ve read things and heard leaders talk about this, but for some reason, today it made sense. If only I can make it sensible here…
How much do I have to work in order to see God move in people’s lives? My tendency is to give all that I can. Instead of watching TV now, I plan next month’s meeting. A few spare minutes before dinner gets finished…use it to check email. What ends up happening is that I don’t discipline my schedule at all. Work bleeds over into free-time and family time, and vice versa.
I think where I mess up is thinking that “living for God” is synonymous with “working for God.” As a staff person at The Journey, I have responsibilities and events and meetings. And, I want our church environments and programs and ministries to be excellent to reach people far from God, so I don’t mind giving a lot of time to the work of God. But, as I prayed this morning, it became very clear to me that this can be a very undisciplined way of living — and ungodly.
If I don’t spend enough time with my family and let them know that they are a priority in my life, will God bless the extra hours I’m giving to ministry work? If I steal time from my own leisure activities and rarely just sit and relax, will God’s movement be more visible in my life?
I don’t think so.
The real question running in my head this morning was this: Do I trust God to take my offering of my time and my resources and multiply it for the glory of His Kingdom?
Perhaps, I need to discipline my work schedule to include some gaps as well. I create gaps in my finances as I give. I step out in faith to give a certain percentage of my income to God (and even extra to Kidstuf this year), and I’m trusting God to meet me there in that gap.
Why don’t I do that with my time? Why don’t I set some clear boundaries and trust Him to meet me there in the gaps?
Filed under: Life
Okay, if you want to see an example of passionate discipline, this article shows it. Here’s an excerpt from Chris Woodyard’s report in USA Today.
“Hypermilers practice such unorthodox techniques as coasting for blocks with their car’s engine turned off, driving far below speed limits on the freeway, pumping up tire pressure far beyond car and tire makers’ recommendations and carefully manipulating the gas pedal to avoid fuel-burning excess.”
I wonder if my candy-apple red Mercury Sable could get 40 or 50 mpg?
In high school, I used to shoot free-throws from 7:30 a.m. to 8:00 a.m. at school. My mom is a teacher, and we’d get to school before anyone else, so I had the gym to myself.
In four years of high school, I can’t estimate the number of practice shots I took. Thousands and thousands. My practice was a discipline. I loved the results of my practice — I became the best free-throw shooter on the team. And, here’s the crazy part I was thinking about today: I loved the practice!
I actually miss that practice. I don’t play competitively anymore, but I’d still love to be able to shoot hundreds of shots a day — just for the discipline of it. There’s something satisfying about knowing that I’m doing something that few others are willing to do.
So why don’t I find discipline in my finances enjoyable? Or, discipline in my eating habits? Or, my prayer time? The value of these things far outweighs shooting some free-throws.
Here’s what I’ve come up with:
- I view self-discipline as unenjoyable, so I don’t make any effort to find the joy in other activities. Maybe I should start looking for what is “fun” about these other things to create a sense of fulfillment in the practice itself.
- I don’t stick with anything long enough to make it a real part of my life. Instead, I dabble in a “little of this, little of that” discipline. I shot free-throws for four years — I don’t think I’ve every done anything else that long.
- I don’t take scheduled breaks from other self-disciplines. I took breaks from free-throws on holidays and in summer when school was out. I wonder if I could schedule certain “breaks” from my other practices that would allow me to keep it fresh.
- I don’t have confidence in myself. With free-throws, I felt completely at ease that if I shot a lot of free-throws, I’d get better. I’m not sure I believe that not eating donuts will make me any healthier, or saving more money each month will make my future more secure.
I’ll have to think about this some more. Can any discipline be made enjoyable?
Filed under: Life
Oh, you might think that I’ve already given up. But you’d be wrong. The early sound of my ipod alarm did it’s job, and I was ready. I was up for half an hour when the new routine went awry.
Is that a truck pulling into my driveway? What’?! The roofing guys are here this early? Loud laughter. Shouts. Ladders bumping. Emma’s awake. Ahhhhh!
So much for new routines. I’m typing this while I try to read a book to Emma. My wife has moved from our bedroom to the guest room at the other end of the house, away from the banging and thumping above. Hold on…Emma wants a hug…
Later. Breakfast must be served.
(P.S. I am very glad these guys are going to fix the roof — it is in bad shape.)
Velcro is amazing. I just don’t want a suit made of it. Lately, I’ve felt like I’m wearing this sweet Armani velcro, and everything I walk past just sticks to me. Here, read this article on Digg. Take care of the church web site. Plan next semester’s classes. Look for a new ipod. Buy new books. Play with the kids.
Velcro can suck. So, I’ve tried to start a new routine because what seems to be sticking to me isn’t necessarily what I would choose. I rarely get to sit and relax with my wife on the couch. I’ve either got my laptop out working on something or playing with this blog. Those things aren’t necessarily bad, but I’ve started to make that the norm. So I’m going to start leaving most of my evenings free.
That means I’m getting up a lot earlier in the mornings to do my work and blog. This morning — 5:30 am. Actually, I’m very excited about this change, even though getting up that early will be difficult when it is dark outside. Right now, the sun is coming up about that time, and it makes me feel alive.
Just a few reasons this new schedule will make my life better:
- I’ll have more time to focus on loving my wife and kids.
- I won’t feel pressure throughout the evening to “hurry up” and get to my laptop to blog.
- I’ll be forced to get in bed at a decent hour, rather than staying up later than my brain is able to write.
- I’ll have a more disciplined prayer time since I’ll be up already.
- I won’t feel guilty for blogging.
Most of my life I’ve fought being “disciplined” with the opinion that discipline is for boring people. Now I’m realizing that discipline is freedom. When I discipline myself, I establish priorities and free myself from the useless activities that attach themselves like velcro to my schedule. I’m tired of living with Velcro. I don’t want just anything sticking to me. I want to have the choice.
